Jeffree Star Cosmetics- Cremated Eyeshadow Palette, $58
($40.60 during their Halloween Sale)
There is a meme, “When I die, press my ashes into a smoky eyeshadow palette.”
No one has have been burned in the making of this palette. It is simply just an eyeshadow palette, and a really great one at that!
You’re about to get a dose of me being raw, while I do write about my mother’s death, I don’t get graphic. It’s real and personal. Learn something about me, instead of asking how my dog is doing when you see me.
When Jeffree Star said that he was coming out with a neutral palette, I thought this was it… but then Orgy came out shortly afterwards. I am glad to have both! Both collections are basics that any makeup hoarder requires! The addition of a complete smoky, grayscale palette was just what was needed in my stash. I have some grayscale palettes, but that 4-pan Mac Cosmetics one just wasn’t cutting it. Carbon is notoriously underwhelming.
The goth vibe is what Jeffree had going on years ago, but it’s still very on-brand for Jeffree. That’s how we were introduced to him back in the early 2000’s on MySpace. And if you were looking for a more affordable Jeffree-In-His-My-Space-Days palette, Weirdo is out. Mine won’t arrive until after November 1st because the lip products were on backorder on Beautylish. Even though it’s Halloweeny and October would be the time to post, I am pretty overwhelmed as it is! I can wait.
I did buy this palette the day it released, but I wasn’t blogging when the lockdown started. I decided that maybe makeup reviews may not be the best thing to post at the time. I used that time to brush up on my artistic skills and start learning some new ones.
We all know it takes about a year to release a huge eyeshadow palette from its’ concept to production. I don’t have to explain to my readers he didn’t purposely release it just in time to offend people! He’s not that fucked up. It was in the works for a long time, he extended the release date, but there were just too many collections in the queue to prolong it. People were going to get ramped up no matter when it came out. He’s just being goth.
My take on the controversy. I’m not offended. It’s a real part of life. At some point, we have to stop being so afraid of certain things. I had to make the choice to cremate my mother ten years ago. It’s an unfortunate thing we must do, experience the loss of our loved ones. But there are going to be people that you are responsible for, and you won’t have a choice but to face it. We just have to be realistic and be sure to be prepared. Nothing can prepare you for the shock, or your devastation, but you can at least talk to your next of kin about your plans and have money set aside. Know that this will probably happen to you in your lifetime, we don’t have to like it, it’s just reality.
October 14-25 every single year is my mourning period, I call it Deathversary. I don’t dress in a black veil or anything like that. But I sit down and write about my mother’s life on my laptop. But I never want to write about her death. It’s more frightening than you can imagine. Honestly, I want to spare you the details! People I know (not everyone) get so visably uncomfortable, that I had to stop opening up to people and I keep it bottled up. Sometimes a girl needs an outlet! It’s now ten whole years since then. I visit the part of Oakland where I grew up and relive memories of her while I’m there. I take these 10 days to reflect and I write, so in the future, someone else can learn from her story.
My mom had a brain tumor three times in her life. When she was 30, she had an operation to remove the tumor, however, she had two strokes during that surgery. She was physically and mentally changed. And surprise, surprise, she was six months pregnant with me at the time. My entire life it was up to me to take care of her. She was not in good health, she couldn’t do the normal things your parents could do. I had to look after her and later provide for her and I had to do it alone. We didn’t have any income, she couldn’t drive, she couldn’t walk without a cane, she was always in pain, half her body was numb, she was half deaf and couldn’t see out of one eye, but she did everything to the best of her ability. Yet, she still got constant shit from her family for being lazy. She volunteered at the local elementary school for 25 years right up until her death.
It was this fateful day, where the police showed up at my door telling me that they found my mother. I cannot stress this enough, it was horrifying. To say it was the worst day of my life is an understatement. I honestly didn’t see it coming and the whole experience completely changed me. I have been going through a downward spiral of depression, self-destruction and deflecting constant invasive personal questions. (When am going to have baaaaaybeee? Have I lost weight? Not even considering I may have an eating disorder.) Going through what I went through and seeing what I have seen… I don’t know what people expect of me, but I ain’t that fluffy version of me in their heads. I give no fucks if someone comes out with a gothic palette that is death themed. I cannot be worried about that. I have real problems!
If you can ignore the theme or appreciate it for the gothic wonder it is: It’s a really great palette. Great neutral grays, black and off-white shades. They are super pigmented. I cannot ask for more. Combine it with Orgy or even Pricked to warm up a blend if you don’t want it to be entirely cool and grayscale.
How many photos can I post of the same palette? A lot!
True that my personal Cremated hasn’t gotten as much love as Orgy. But Orgy really is an everyday palette. If I use Cremated as my main palette, I am doing a LEWK! Though admittedly, I haven’t exactly gone out and left the house very much during this pandemic! If I wore this palette more often around people, I’ll look too intense for them to bother with unfiltered observations.
There are many unique shades in this palette. Have you ever seen shades like Inheritance or The Morgue ever before? They have that touch of olive that really gives it that rotted death look. I don’t have anything like most of these shades! (But black, I have too many matte black eyeshadows because every brand has to put it in like every palette! We don’t need any more standard matte black, thank you. The exception is this palette! It definitely belongs!)
Below are swatches of the palette in different lighting. What Jeffree has done with grayscale is amazing. Different finishes, and while you’d think grayscale is just neutral, he brings a touch of warmth or a touch of coolness or that touch of olive. The metallic finishes are very special and really add that pazow to a look! If you aren’t liking the smoky eye you just did, try patting one of the metallics to the center of the lid! Works wonders!
Angel of Death is just the creme de la creme of sparkly black eyeshadows. Move over Black Tied! Angel of Death is here! I’ll use it super subtly and blend it near my lash line but nothing is stopping from from using it all over your lids!
Yes, you can definitely get fallout with the deepest shades and metallics. Best to do your concealer afterwards! Also tap your brush before applying!
I am doing 4-ups so you can really see that metallic sparkle! They are very impressive!
The bottom rows have great shades for brow bone highlight, transition and a pop of highlight in the center of the lid! This palette actually has a brow bone highlight light enough for my skin tone. People with a different skin tone than mine may want to look in the Orgy palette for theirs. Otherwise, this grayscale palette should work for every skin tone. It’s even more workable having some shades cooler and some olive and some more warm. It gives a lot of variety to the look, other than just gray.
If you are looking for a smoky eye palette, I think those swatches have convinced you that this is the palette! It’s not just for goth at-my-ex’s-funeral looks, wear this on a date, hanging out with friends, hell I have seen a gray smoky eye at the office! I will wear a black smoky eye during the day, I don’t get a fuck.
Make no mistake, I’m not goth, I never have been. (People who don’t know me at all have misconceptions about me.) But it seems like my existence is consumed in death. My life, for the past 10 years, is pretty much surrounded by mortality. My mother’s death traumatized me. The man who raised me is dead. Two family members have died within this pandemic. My father told me that he doesn’t have many years left in him, which has me feeling anxious. Hell, my own health is in question if I don’t do this surgery. I thought I had a handle on it until now. This anniversary hit me hard and I broke down that I actually got a painful biliary colic attack that lasted two days. It sounds over-dramatic, but I hide it with as much dignity as I can. If anything, I always hide how I really feel because people usually don’t like to be burdened by anything other than themselves. I feel like I pretend to be a normal person, but I’m really just floating around in a shell. Like, does anyone actually expect me to be unicorns & rainbows? I have that cutesy little line I made, but that’s the thing… it’s not all unicorns & rainbows. I just can’t be want people want…
but I am pretty great at pretending.
October has always been a tragic month. (Quake of ’89, Firestorm of ’91, my abuser was born, most of my significant relationships started then! haha fml tho.)
My next posts will be cute and nostalgic! We need something to bring the little joys in life.
Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored. I am not on the PR list for Jeffree Star Cosmetics. I bought this palette myself with my own money.
My experiences and opinions are MY experiences and opinions. I am old and very tired, I do not need unsolicited advice. Sometimes it’s better not to say anything at all than to say the wrong thing!
If you have lost a parent, I recommend reading this article. I hope there is someone in your life you can be open and honest with, without judgement, and most importantly, without them trying to offload you elsewhere.
